A List of Distressing Feelings.
Tomorrow morning, I begin my journey of Yoga Teacher Training. I have been putting this intention out into the universe for a very long time and now, we're here. I have some worries, as would anyone about to begin a new and challenging endeavor. I am also crazy, so I think about random shit. So listed below are my thoughts about YTT. I figure if I get them all out, I will feel better. Much like vomiting when you've had too much to drink helps. Oh god. I am a mess.
- Everyone will hate me. Everyone.
- I know nothing.
- I am blissfully unaware that I know nothing and will say something dumb and everyone will know that I know nothing.
- I will be a know it all, talk too much and too loud and too fast.
- Everyone will hate me.
- I am not pure enough of YTT. I drink, eat meat and swear like a sailor.
- Everyone will hate me.
- I am going to sweat everywhere. It will be gross. I might even smell.
- I have forgotten how to read for school. I will fail every test. My brain will confuse all the sanskrit names of the poses with the yoga gurus. I will sound racist.
- Everyone will hate me.
- I will not bring enough/the right food. I will get dizzy. I will be embarrassing.
- I will be 50 lbs heavier than all the other students. They will glide into poses like gazelles. I will clomp around like a hippopotamus.
- Everyone will hate me.
- I will cry.
- It will be hard.
- I will cry and everyone will hate me.
- I know nothing, I will sweat, curse and cry.
- Everyone will hate me.
I feel number 4 is unavoidable, but maybe the rest are just irrational.
Pray for me and the poor souls tied to me for the next 6 months.
Oh god.